About Me and My Work

About Me and My Work

Hi, my name is Alex Bryan...

For the last twenty years I’ve been studying and teaching a simple practice for preventing and resolving conflict using an unusual approach to emotional intelligence (EQ). I’ve had quite an adventure teaching this practice to all kinds of people dealing with a wide variety of conflicts—from confusion and anxiety to depression and shame; from bullying in schools to power struggles in businesses; from arguing among couples and families to tensions and violence among prisoners—and I’m always amazed at what is possible when everyone is fully heard and understood. And nothing makes that happen more than this practice that I call 'Active Empathy'.

Training and experience
I’ve received over 100 hours of certified training and have a degree in Emotional Intelligence from Goddard College—yet most of what I’ve learned has been through direct experience with the many people I’ve had the honor to work with in over 600 hours of classes and workshops. I’m excited to share this amazing practice with you, as it will transform your daily experience of yourself and the overall quality of your life and relationships.

A versatile practice
This practice has helped students to reduce bullying among themselves, and teachers to connect with students and their parents; it’s helped couples to reconcile their differences and families to reconnect; it has helped prisoners to understand their own tragic actions and to reduce violence on their cell blocks; it’s helped managers to better understand their co-workers’ concerns and therapists to more efficiently clarify their clients’ issues; and it has helped many people to identify, disrupt and re-frame both unhelpful thought patterns and unwanted habits.

How I got here
I was drawn to this work because I’ve always wanted to see less suffering and conflict in the world, and more freedom and peace for everyone. To that end, I’ve spent much of my life concerned with two questions: “What is the cause conflict?” and “What can we do to prevent it?” Because much like injury or disease, it's much easier to prevent conflict, bullying and violence than to heal from the consequences. So when I read the book 'Nonviolent Communication' by Marshall Rosenberg, I discovered a concept and a practice that made it a specific, doable thing, a learnable practice that's more effective than anything else I know of.

An uncommon approach
My search for answers led me through many areas of study—religion and spirituality, brain science and psychology, communication and empathy, and finally, emotional intelligence (EQ). In the process I discovered one concept that revolutionizes our understanding of human nature and the nature of conflict. Strangely, this simple concept, called the Drive Theory, is missing from our current definitions of emotional intelligence, most approaches to conflict resolution and crisis de-escalation, and even from most therapeutic models.

A simple concept
The Drive Theory states that whenever we feel uncomfortable, it’s because of unmet needs or values. We are then driven to take action to alleviate this discomfort by trying to meet those needs. Remembering this is called 'Needs Awareness', and it radically transforms our current understanding of emotions and Emotional Intelligence.

What I offer
You can download my EQ Blindspots Self Assessment survey to identify some of the common mistakes and misperceptions that contribute to your problems and conflicts. I'm offering live Q&A calls twice a month, and interactive practice groups every other weekend. The Q&A calls are where I will introduce the core concepts (until the course is done and available) and you can ask me anything about this material, the weekend workshops, the practice itself, or even specific situations you’re dealing with. These calls are free and can be accessed here.

The Weekend Workshops are virtual practice groups that provide regular opportunities to immerse yourself in this new consciousness, and to observe and practice with other people using real life situations. As simple and logical as the concepts are, it takes a lot of practice to really integrate them—not because it’s hard to do, but because old habits die hard! These weekend workshops are where that happens, and they are available with a monthly subscription.

Coming up soon...
I'm working on a  course called EQ Navigator (soon to be available) which is an introduction to the power and logic of using the Drive Theory to understand your own and others’ feelings and actions. In this training I will guide you through written exercises using your own situations—both conflicts and celebrations. You will quickly recognize a big difference in how you think, feel and talk to yourself. It will transform your perception of yourself and others, and is the foundation of the practice I call 'Active Empathy'.

These video courses and live practice sessions help people experience a profound shift in their awareness and consciousness, from confusion and conflict to clarity and connection. I want to help people to increase the peace, both with others and within themselves . This practice benefits anyone who wants peace, who has strong feelings and emotional experiences, or encounters them in others, and wants to know what they’re for and how to navigate them.

What's next?
If you have any questions or want personal or group training, please get in touch with me. I'm looking forward to working with you!