It works! Yesterday I was able to offer something probably close to empathy to a friend... it happened successively over our 90 minute conversation and it was as if I had a magic translator fish in my ear... thanks for all you've opened my eyes and my heart to.

Janet Welch,
Class Participant

a major improvement

I credit this practice with making a major contribution to improving the quality of my life, helping me to live in a more balanced, fulfilled, reality-based manner. And excellent though the system is, it wouldn't be worth much without the help of a talented facilitator, to guide newcomers into an amazing paradigm. I have been fortunate, then, to have had Alex Bryan... as the facilitator of the classes and practice sessions I have attended. If you are looking for a way to make sense of the world, and of yourself, I can recommend [this practice], and Alex, without hesitation.

BT,
Business Owner, Author

nothing has worked this well

In my 14 years of education I have not seen anything work this well in improving communication, expanding an understanding of others, and reducing bullying and harassment in a public school setting.

Jim A. Betteley,
K-12 School Principal

peace and empowerment 

The experience of practicing and thinking in this way has surprised me no end with its increase in clarity, understanding, and empathy on both sides—and yes—the feeling of peace, empowerment, and compassion that passes over me when I am thinking and acting based on these principles.

Jessamine Sirelson,
Class Participant

no greater contribution

In the current political and social climate in our country and in the world there can be no greater contribution than creating clear, nonjudgmental communication. Thank you, Alex.

Connie Welch,
Elementary Teacher

enriched my quality of life

Over the past three years this practice has helped me significantly to reach out to others and make empathetic connections that would have otherwise been out of my reach. I feel enormous gratitude...to Alex Bryan for his facilitation—this has significantly enriched the quality of my life.

Roger Dickerson,
Class Participant

I initiated my participation in these classes with an open mind but with the thought that intentional/ compassionate communication might just be covering up underlying conflict with nice words. Instead I learned that it is not at all about avoiding issues or just smoothing them over, but rather about finding ways to address them in less confrontational or threatening ways... There is an implicit equality about this process. Feelings are related to values that virtually anyone can comprehend. Another thing I really liked was that we did this as a regular group. I felt a group solidarity growing as we pursued our sessions, and got to the point where I really looked forward to them. A key element in that was your facilitation. You are an excellent teacher. I believe this training is extremely valuable…

Andrew Reding, Board Member, Boiler Room Youth
Community Center

an inspirational teacher

When the Fort Worden Partners group first started meeting, Alex introduced us to a style of governance that has been foundational in establishing how our group works and communicates. In introducing “Dynamic Governance” (DG) to a group of individuals who were new to using DG, Alex showed great leadership and patience. As facilitator, he modeled the process and gradually supported others in stepping in to take roles. He has been a tactful, transparent and inspirational teacher. It took the Partners about a year under his tutelage to really get comfortable and effective with DG and now we are all sold on it... Since learning this method from Alex I have introduced DG into the way I run meetings with my staff. I suspect other institutions in Fort Worden State Park are also benefiting from his instruction in this type of communication and governance. I credit him for bringing this democratic process to my attention and for modeling its use so effectively. It is a tool that shows respect for all people at the table which I have come to learn is a metaphor for how Alex works.

Anne Murphy, Director,
PT Marine Science Center
at Fort Worden State Park

an excellent facilitator

I recently had the pleasure of participating in one of your six-week [workshops] at the Quilcene School and I want to tell you what an impact it had on me. First, I want to say what an excellent facilitator you are. You led us into discussions and walked us through every step so easily, that it appeared effortless on your part. You listened to our every word and challenged us in very positive ways to be better communicators... When learning this practice it becomes apparent that people of all ages and intelligence could learn these extremely powerful communication tools. What a revolution we could have in our world if these simple tools could especially be given to young children who, unlike adults, have not yet spent years & years of developing poor communication skills. I believe these skills are as important as math, reading, etc.

Jane Hall-Lazelle,
Business Owner, School Mentor

Thank you for providing me with these tools and for the guidance in learning, practicing and implementing them. They have been nothing short of transformative within our family.

Dionne Deschenne,
Class Participant

I wouldn't be in here...

If I'd known this before, I wouldn't be in here...

 Inmate,
Washington State Corrections 

important work

Thanks again so much for the workshop. I loved every minute of it. I have received a lot of very positive feedback from adults who attended, and even some from kids too. Thanks for doing this important work!

Jeanne Simmons,
Librarian, PT Public Library

This can really help to clear the hostility and disconnection between inmates and make things flow a lot easier. I’ve already started to use this—it works.

Inmate,
Washington State Corrections

allowed me to truly open up

Over the course of about two months, Alex slowly guided our group through the steps of Active Empathy. He taught us how to incorporate our new skills in the work place by having us talk about and role play actual work situations. This gave me a lot of confidence at work and helped me incorporate the new techniques in other areas of my life. I found it especially useful how the [practice of empathy] helped me recognize my own reactions and tendencies towards communication. This allowed me to truly open up to what I was learning and actually adopt small changes in how I communicate. I can tell now, that after taking Alex's class, it has actually impacted my style of communication and how I think about other people and how they communicate.

Chauncey Tudhope-Locklear, Manager, Boiler Room Youth Community Center

everyone should learn this 

After taking the full class I feel more connected... Knowing how to interact in such a clear way is so refreshing... After taking the class I had an overwhelming feeling of admiration for myself and the others which served my need for self-growth. I think everyone in their lifetime should [learn this practice]; we'd all be in a better place. I feel now that after taking the class my service to the greater community is to spread awareness through the practice of empathy.

Ellie,
Americorps Volunteer 

I had no idea such a simple communication course would transform my life so radically. I felt relaxed and encouraged in the classroom because my needs for inclusion, consideration, attention and safety were met.

Tarini Bresgi,
Class Participant

looking inward, not blaming

Active Empathy forces a person to look inward at him/ herself, instead of blaming others for one's feelings. I had to learn to cope with my own feelings of discomfort to discover what my actual unmet needs were. I really felt comfortable with Alex as a facilitator because I value security, openness, honesty and trustworthiness. He exceeded my needs in order for me to feel comfortable, which really helped me to learn the techniques. Alex has a thorough understanding of this practice, but is also truly passionate about what he does. His enthusiasm and patience helped me thoroughly understand the practice of empathy.

Anna Vendola,
Americorps Volunteer

a change in consciousness.

The most observable change was in their consciousness. They were more aware of each other's feelings and less self absorbed. There were very few conflicts the last two months of school. Instead I witnessed several interactions where students either talked out differences or one of them gave in to the other student's wishes. Those outcomes were rarely seen earlier in the year.

Forrest Thomson,
6th Grade Teacher

George Ramsey,
10th Grade Teacher,
North Kitsap HS

couldn't do without it

 Alex worked intensely with our staff, volunteers and board members for a period of two+ months on a weekly basis to help us learn how to better identify what we were each feeling and needing individually in order to understand better where others were coming from, and to bring honor and respect to the dialog process. Prior to being in the workshop it felt like the Boiler Room was a powder keg that was ready to go off, but learning this practice helped us to not only diffuse ourselves but to bring much needed clarity as far as purpose, approach and planning to the table. I truly don't now how I would have made it through that time period without it.

Noah Prince, Manager,
Boiler Room Youth Center

reduces violence in prison

This practice can reduce violence in the prison, but more importantly, it prepares offenders to re-enter their communities… they learn to listen to others, even if the other person sounds angry or disrespectful.

Cheryl Cheney,
Violence Reduction Coordinator, Clallam Bay Corrections Center

Had yet another remarkable experience last night working through our conflict from last week. I am so excited, encouraged, grateful, satisfied, moved, and proud as it really meets my need for cooperation, learning, honesty, challenge, clarity, growth...I could go on and on! I am incredibly grateful for the opportunity to do this work with Alex—thank you.

Michelle Moriarty,
Elementary Teacher

changed how I try to teach

This practice has changed how I try to teach: when dealing with negative behavior, I look for the needs. To the student: "Are you angry because you need (or value) autonomy?" That question alone shows the teacher is empathizing with an unmet need of the student serving to open a discussion of both student and teacher needs, allowing a strategy to be created to meet both parties' needs. To go to the extreme…criminal behavior is based on the feeling of shame arising from the unmet needs for respect, independence, self-worth and more. So a criminal engages in anti-social behavior to meet his needs to remove the feeling of shame. Awareness alone of this is empowering as it then invites a reflection on meeting the needs…

 Jim Murray,
High School Teacher

work partnerships improved

The big learning for me was practicing to hear the "needs" people were trying to express when communication has broken down. The group role modeled and practiced a different way of talking to each other using the steps of Active Empathy and real situations that we wanted to "do over". This practice has helped me understand my colleagues’ underlying needs when collaboration is essential. With this knowledge and training, my understanding and compassion when communicating has increased, collaboration and my work partnerships have improved.

Rene Olson,
Special Educator, Grades 7-12